Turning 30.

Who would believe it - me! 30!?

I certainly don't feel it. Granted some days I feel twice that, but i'm betting that we all have days like that. Much like everything else, my life has traveled to this point in time, and after all thats all it is. The man made measure of how things last, their longevity, and ultimately the only way we can quantify our mortality. The time that's spent while we've been here. And to be honest its been an interesting three decades so far. I've been born, grown up, got an education, supporting myself etc etc. Granted these are things that everyone does, and to be honest these day to day things just pass us by. But it is often said in axiom that things are greater than the sum of their parts, years, or whatever measurement you are going to attribute to it.

I spent my 30th birthday away from home - visiting a city I had not yet visited but had longed to for a variety of reasons. An hour or two down the road and I was in the fair city of Cardiff. I am very fond of Wales and the Welsh, and have found them to be honest, friendly and incredibly polite in a matter of fact way. I found Cardiff to be no different - full of people who were happy and forthright. Here in Stoke it is perhaps a different story. Its hard to go a mile without seeing a tracksuit (not for fitness purposes), a public display of a family dispute, or simply an unhappy face. It does worry me. I guess we all have things to learn here in our own sphere of influence, I guess those people are no different.

Back to Cardiff. on arriving in the city i noticed an interesting mix of both old and new - not too dissimilar from Chester - paying respect to original architecture whilst making conveyance for the new. Having touched base at hotel we ventured out into Cardiff, coming accross first to Cardiff Market.

I have always liked the feel of markets - small business trying to earn an honest living, offering fair and reasonable prices for varieties of goods. Our first purchase - a local delicacy - welsh cakes. I had not tried them before, so was eager to try them.\ Having taken a bite and falling in love with them, I vowed at some point to make my own. You can find a traditional Welsh Cakes recipe here.

After a tour of the market and looking at a variety of goods, we decided to get a feel for the rest of the town. Met with a variety of vendors offering new and old things alike I was fascinated at the mix of culture, and a presence of acceptance of all things within this mix. We stopped for lunch at a noodle bar offering a variety of Chinese and Japanese fayre, and we shared chicken noodles, breaded salt and pepper chicken, and sweet and sour chicken.

Happy me with happy chopsticks :)

Moving on to the rest of the shops we surveyed yet more elements of culture. Tradiitonal Welsh butchers, delicatessen, bakers etc - it was refreshing to see such a cornucopia of vendors selling traditional fayre in a city that appears so cosmopolitan to the naked eye.

We decided to indulge the worldy culture acceptance further and booked a table for French Restaurant chain "Cafe Rouge".  When we arrived later that evening we indulged on two french favourites - Beef bourginione and duck leg confit (presented with plum sauce and dauphinoise potatoes) - an immense favourite of mine to cook as well as eat.

All in all i decided that if i was enjoying myself this much, turning 30 wasn't such a bad thing. After all, I am frequently told I dont look it (i'm not sure if that's out of politeness or not, but I don't question it just in case.) 

Another wonderful thing i noticed about Cardiff was the friendliness of people in general. This was proved when in shops we were offered tea and biscuits for merely visiting. Such a welcoming community - I figured that such a gesture goes a long way- especially on such a cool late autumn day.. If we did that here in Stoke it would be viewed as some clever marketing ploy, or a con. Either that or there would be a wealth of visitors to your shop wanting to liberate you of your tea and whatever else you giving away.

That night I went to bed with a full belly, and a happy heart knowing I was in such a nice place with nice people, the only worry being that it is becoming increasingly rare. 

Once awakened I got myself together and headed to breakfast. After a hearty full English (or Welsh, even), further exploration of the town was required. Collecting souvenirs such as Welsh cakes to bring home, some cherry brandy, apricot brandy and a few nik naks for gifts, the day was spent in merriment in exploration of Cardiff's wonderful things to see, inclusive of stopping in a cafe to enjoy a hearty plaice, chips and peas and a pot of tea, and an exporation of yet more shops, stalls and many interesting Welsh things.

/indulging in yet more worldy culture we decided on Italian that night, enjoying a traditional lasagne and Marsala chicken (something i'd not eaten in some years). after several gins and a brandy, sleep was once more reuiqred for tomorrows exploration of the bay, and then the journey home. 

The next days exploration of Cardiff bay was a pleasant experience, exploration of its many interesting monuments and shops, with a refreshing cosmopolitan feel. Its somewhere I would heartily consider living in, a mix of the modern and old. Upon gazing on the millennium centre I saw the words in Welsh and then translated to "Within these stones, horizons sing". 

Such a resonant piece of short literature I thought. Timeless, I pondered, just as timeless as Cardiff itself. These words echoed in my mind on the return home, whilst passing over the sunlit water between England and Wales, over the great bridge that connects the two.

 It helped to remind me most of all that although I am now thirty years old, perhaps it is just a number. If my life ever becomes a fraction of the timelessness that Cardiff presents, I should do well. Here's to the next thirty years - may they be ever youthful.

11:11:11

Today, 11:11:11 is particularly resonant for many reasons for me. Not only is it the third night of the full moon, not only has a great asteroid now left our orbit, and not only is it remembrance day, but it is the 11th of November 2011.It will not be the 11/11/11 for another one hundred years.

i was greeted by this poem on my news feed today, which i found to be rather simple and touching. Remembrance day is resonant every year, but what with the weeks events expressed in my last post "antlers"
I feel that the synchorinicity of these events is evermore resonant.


Here is the poem that follows:


Why are they selling poppies, Mummy?
Selling poppies in town today.
The poppies, child, are flowers of love.
For the men who marched away.

But why have they chosen a poppy, Mummy?
Why not a beautiful rose?
Because my child, men fought and died
In the fields where the poppies grow.

But why are the poppies so red, Mummy?
Why are the poppies so red?
Red is the colour of blood, my child.
The blood that our soldiers shed.

The heart of the poppy is black, Mummy.
Why does it have to be black?
Black, my child, is the symbol of grief.
For the men who never came back.

But why, Mummy are you crying so?
Your tears are giving you pain.
My tears are my fears for you my child.
For the world is forgetting again.


Upon the final words of the last stanza.i pondered remembrance, and not forgetting. What are we without our memories? Do our memories make us entirely what we are. The passing on of knowledge from generation to generation is probably one of the most prominent acts we can ever engage in. Much is lost, when this does not happen.


If you can do me a favour readers, not mattering what time zone you are in, not mattering what time of day it is, or who you are, you are somebody's son or daughter. Somewhere along the line your ancestors have passed down the knowledge you have been given and learned from. Somewhere along the line between then and now, somebody has given their life whether it be on the battlefield, whether it be on the world stage or whether it be a devoted period of time for the betterment of humanity in the pursuit of peace. I ask this: what do we owe them?

The answer can be as simple and great as you need it to be. But in its simple and purest form, we need to honour the need for remembrance. Without acknowledging the acts of our forefather and mothers, the future holds no value. For their to be a journey and a destination, there must be a path behind us.

Lest we forget.

Remember them.

Antlers...

Aside from being a symbol of deer, stags and other horned creatures, antlers hold a particular regard around yuletide to symbolise reindeer / other "xmas" symbols. Fair enough, but its not quite time yet for either. Two nights ago as i was relaxing and contemplating sleep i was granted in appearance a vision of the horned deity, resembling "herne" "cerunnonos" "woden" and other names associated. he didnt say alot, just stood smiling, appearing adorned with antlers much like the depiction of foresaid deities. I didn't feel threatened or uneasy, and his presence seemed fatherly, and serious and jovial in the same respect.

Mindful of his presence in vision, I pondered that i hadn't seen anything like this in a number of years - The last memorable depiction of anything of this magnitude was in waking hours at night, whereby in the light of a full moon i saw the clouds move and shift together to form an illuminated perfect view of a bulls head, in immaculate 3 dimensional detail. It lingered there for about 10 seconds then dispersed slowly. That was many years ago, but it remains resonant in my mind.

So I've been asking around as to why the visit - not that i'm complaining. I feel gently reassured.

Whilst at work last night undergoing my general duties, I pondered the events of the week ahead. The 11th of november was fast approaching, with its links to parallels (11:11:11). Looking at it from a computing perspective, i pondered the application of binary to perhaps give a mathematical 9and aspect of duality) clue.

The differences between each section indicated a multiple of four progression. (from 3 to 12, and 12 to 48). Combined with te expression of each section equalling 3 on its own it held resonant to me the development from 3 dimensions to fourth (in a mathematical sense, expressing co-ordinates and a multiplying factor)

Having links to the tesseract I pondered the development from physical dimension to that of another. Its all relative.

Coupled with the other interesting events this week with the approaching large asteroid, then departing from our view and influence on the 11th (on the third night of the full moon) its seemingly from an stellar (and astral) sense, an eventful week. Whats going to happen? Time will tell.

everything changes...

Its been a while since my last post, but i guess I had gotten caught up in the cogs (as we all do). Nonetheless im here again, working away at the things I do. Recently i went on a short holiday to spain, to relax awhile, away from the humdrum of life back here in England.

They say its more likely to realise a few things while you're out of the box, than in it. Most certainly true, and whilst walking along the shores of valencia one evening I pondered my position in all that I had considered. For once in a while I felt very relaxed, calm and at ease. Its hard to realise you are none of these things until you experience it of course.

Such relaxed states give rise to other thoughts beyond our sphere of influence. As I pondered, I felt somewhat different. As though somehow i were laying upon a cushion of air, being carried along towards a new end, a new destination along the paths of my journey (whatever they may be). At the time I took this message to mean perhaps that i was begin gestured forward in life, to pursue all that i could, and that perhaps I had stood back enough now. The time for moving forward was at hand. perhaps I hadn't realised how prominent this was.

Looking back on the events prior to this its clear to see that the fates had indeed given rise to these thoughts in subtelty, as often they are. I had come into the posession of a branch of a sycamore tree that had been struck by lightning. Indicating a lightning rod, a very live and charged vein of nature - a symbol of drive, of the lifespark, of ignition, of motivation and fertility. I dare say when its ready it will make a fine wand. Also from my homestead i have in preparation a branch from a holly tree - a symbol of evergreen, of everlasting and non diminishing life.

Returning from Spain I was gifted a daytime flight, looking at the clouds and the sky above the world, looking down on mountains rivers and civilisation. Almost a view from "the gods". I had not seen such things since earlier in the year in my ascension of Mt Snowdon. (whish was expressed in "t-minus - wings please)

I am also reminded of the presence of these revelations in various other forms. The song "solisbury hill" by Peter Gabriel holds some relevance (and made me feel somewhat emotional of late, expressing things i had not yet considered or had put to the wayside)..

But it doesnt end there. I listened to a song this morning that reminds me of one of my favouriters from last year - but is still increasingly relevant to the questions we ask in life, and their relevance in the greater scheme of things.

So thats it from me for now. May your futures be bright and your paths cross the places of fortune. Ill be in touch... soon :)

In continual motion...

Things move. things change, some things stay the same etc etc. We've all been aware of things moving along at some point, chasing either the turn of the perpetual wheel, or in sight of a new wheel entirely. In some cases, we all have many wheels to manage, many revolutions to partake in and many facets of the gemstone of life to grind against the wheels.

For me, things are (touch wood) going seemingly well. Having done well on the diet and lifestyle front, I am some five and a half stones lighter than I used to be. Boasting a lean 10st 8 (last weigh in), from a whopping 16 stones and 10 lbs, back in 2008, seemingly in retrospect I've always been under the wheel of change. Nonetheless I'm rather happy about that. Having a mild kidney infection of late has halted my progress somewhat as im holding all kinds of water until it clears. But hey ho - we all have our setbacks.

I am conscious now of the wheel of fortune card - the forces of fate in motion. Heh -we all have visualisations eh?

In other aspects of my life, out of the blue an old mentor appeared - to both confirm and reaffirm my path on the quest for enlightenment among other things. It's only taken some ten years to get answers out of him! Haha. All good things come to those who wait, patience leads to virtue or merit etc. I have a feeling that it wont be the last time I see him either. We shall see.

Today, despite being under a flood of barley water (kidney problem) and recovery, a friend stopped by and we continued to work on his website for his own business venture. A few teething problems to begins with but we're getting there. Its refreshing for me to revise old ground and re-learn new skills in the field. Indeed its been too long away from the digital frontier. A few cups of tea and coffee later our to-do list is exhausted. We now look to more exciting things with the basics out of the way.

Work sent me a nice letter concerning bonuses and shares. Its good to know you're well thought of and valued beyond your monthly pay and the duties you perform. My hopes are to save some more cash to invest in other businesses among my friends. Time will tell of course, but fingers in pies are never a bad thing (provided the filling isn't too hot. ;))

Wheels keep on turning (my playlist ironically picked out "proud mary" as I was typing. Never a bad thing I suppose, to know that fate somehow agrees with me, or at least humours my thoughts. So i suppose as I take a break and reflect, life's kinda sweet. But not too sweet, or I may get addicted. I do wonder how many other wheels will turn in response to these little wheels of mine. Once again, I will discover that time will tell.

March 23rd

It was the date that last year spawned "making a difference", and in previous years presented times to go into hiding, deadlines, realisations and general breakthroughs n understanding, experience and consciousness. This year, well not much to report. A friend who i had been speaking to got back into touch, and whilst I spend time with him, and I learn new and interesting things, I cant see anything that relates to a breakthrough or prominent step in my development.

One thing I have noticed of late (in the past month or so) is my desire to build, make, create and grow things. Currently im thinking about the garden, growing things etc. From a magick perspective, i suppose this helps a great deal - i get to see life from beginning to end, and as an ingredient and reagent. I often think to myself that i will be better off growing things, whether they be from an observational / interactive level, or from a growing of herbs and vegetables in a personal farming capacity. Or even just for pleasure. I have some sunflowers growing that will look very pretty :).

I'm also building a chest for the end of my bed - i dont know just lately everything seems to fall into place, when making or constructing things. Perhaps i just understand everything alot better. I have also noticed that my physical condition has improved. Aside from the ongoing goal to shed excess pounds (5 stones now since 2008) , I noticed that im also stronger, my endurance has improved. In this respect it was highighted greatly in my climb to the summit of Mt Snowdon last week in "T minus, wings please".

So what now? I suppose ill be looking forward, trudging headlong into the future, wondering whats around the next corner... If anyone has any pointers let me know :) I'm eager to listen.

T Minus...Wings please..

I suppose im now counting down the march 23rd. Whatever it may bring..... The moon tonight is said to be closest to earth its been since 1993 - It should be a lovely sight providing the skies stay clear. An ominous time for me - a full moon and an impending date which collides with the first days of spring....

Having climbed the mountain yesterday I feel renewed in vigour and outlook somewhat, although I have kept a nice reminder of the hike - I still have a few aches and pains but nothing major. My hips and my neck feel a little stiff but other than this I'm fine. For your perusal I decided to take a few pictures at the summit of Mt. Snowdon - we were blessed with a glorious day which was extremeley warm on the way up (but very cold at the top).

There was a gratifying peace in the looking down over the world, watching people, houses and buildings become smaller, as we ascended up Mt. Snowdon. In the third photo, if you look closely you can see the coast on either side of wales, and the isle of Anglesey.

On the way up, trudging along and upwards steadily I was reminded heartily of the "Hermit" card in the tarot deck - an image of wisdom, perseverance and patience.

I suppose at the moment this is a good motto for me, knowing that something is up ahead, and waiting patiently for it to arrive - for nobody can control the passage of time. Along with this symbology, my friend who I hiked up the mountain with likened me to "Gandalf", the wizard in the Tolkien classic "Lord of the rings". Its because i'm wise apparently (we will leave the old bit out). In true hermit fashion he is depicted lighting the way also in the darkest of places, leading men and others, against the darkness, and finding their own strengths. In retrospect, the climb was a pleasant challenge - but it was not easy. I had the foresight to bring my heart rate monitor, which showed a total of 2100 calories. Thats some exercise!

Did it bring me everything I hoped it would - nice views, picturesque scenery, and pleasant walk, a challenge - yes. There was something also incredibly calming about hearing almost absoloute silence. Although some sounds of distant places carried on the wind was somewhat interesting. From these welsh mountains, looking across at the pretty landscape, I wondered to myself, how many had trodden these steps before, how many leaders of men, Kings,Queens, Emperors, Politicians, Teachers, Mentors, Knights, or even common men could not fail to see the value of all things, looking down at the world. Up here it seemed, money didn't matter, possessions didn't matter. Life up here was different. Literally the world at ones feet. 

A bird flew past, calling - presumably to other birds. It had followed us all of the way up - i was comforted to have an aerial companion to watch our journey. It reminded me somewhat of the symbology of the ace of birds (ace of swords in the original tarot deck), which is depicted to carry an arrow. It signifies decisive, determined and direct approaches to life. In this instance, thats what mattered on the mountaintop. Should you be born with wings, you could fly to anywhere from here with only the wind to get in your way. I concluded that was the purpose of the ascent, to realise ones limitations and potentials.From here,  decided there can be only the elements in my way from achieving what I wish to. For those who master the elements - the cosmos is theirs for exploring.

At the top of the mountain there was a waypoint showing directions to all of the places the eye (and further could see). But no man could step from here to those places - save only on wings. I do not have those... in which case I must walk. But isn't the journey more important than the destination? From here, I guess, the infinite waypoint, my journey continues. Wings optional.