The Infinite waypoint

Turning 30.

2011-11-18T10:12:00.000-08:00

Who would believe it - me! 30!?

I certainly don't feel it. Granted some days I feel twice that, but i'm betting that we all have days like that. Much like everything else, my life has traveled to this point in time, and after all thats all it is. The man made measure of how things last, their longevity, and ultimately the only way we can quantify our mortality. The time that's spent while we've been here. And to be honest its been an interesting three decades so far. I've been born, grown up, got an education, supporting myself etc etc. Granted these are things that everyone does, and to be honest these day to day things just pass us by. But it is often said in axiom that things are greater than the sum of their parts, years, or whatever measurement you are going to attribute to it.

I spent my 30th birthday away from home - visiting a city I had not yet visited but had longed to for a variety of reasons. An hour or two down the road and I was in the fair city of Cardiff. I am very fond of Wales and the Welsh, and have found them to be honest, friendly and incredibly polite in a matter of fact way. I found Cardiff to be no different - full of people who were happy and forthright. Here in Stoke it is perhaps a different story. Its hard to go a mile without seeing a tracksuit (not for fitness purposes), a public display of a family dispute, or simply an unhappy face. It does worry me. I guess we all have things to learn here in our own sphere of influence, I guess those people are no different.

Back to Cardiff. on arriving in the city i noticed an interesting mix of both old and new - not too dissimilar from Chester - paying respect to original architecture whilst making conveyance for the new. Having touched base at hotel we ventured out into Cardiff, coming accross first to Cardiff Market.

I have always liked the feel of markets - small business trying to earn an honest living, offering fair and reasonable prices for varieties of goods. Our first purchase - a local delicacy - welsh cakes. I had not tried them before, so was eager to try them.\ Having taken a bite and falling in love with them, I vowed at some point to make my own. You can find a traditional Welsh Cakes recipe here.

After a tour of the market and looking at a variety of goods, we decided to get a feel for the rest of the town. Met with a variety of vendors offering new and old things alike I was fascinated at the mix of culture, and a presence of acceptance of all things within this mix. We stopped for lunch at a noodle bar offering a variety of Chinese and Japanese fayre, and we shared chicken noodles, breaded salt and pepper chicken, and sweet and sour chicken.

Happy me with happy chopsticks :)

Moving on to the rest of the shops we surveyed yet more elements of culture. Tradiitonal Welsh butchers, delicatessen, bakers etc - it was refreshing to see such a cornucopia of vendors selling traditional fayre in a city that appears so cosmopolitan to the naked eye.

We decided to indulge the worldy culture acceptance further and booked a table for French Restaurant chain "Cafe Rouge". When we arrived later that evening we indulged on two french favourites - Beef bourginione and duck leg confit (presented with plum sauce and dauphinoise potatoes) - an immense favourite of mine to cook as well as eat.

All in all i decided that if i was enjoying myself this much, turning 30 wasn't such a bad thing. After all, I am frequently told I dont look it (i'm not sure if that's out of politeness or not, but I don't question it just in case.)

Another wonderful thing i noticed about Cardiff was the friendliness of people in general. This was proved when in shops we were offered tea and biscuits for merely visiting. Such a welcoming community - I figured that such a gesture goes a long way- especially on such a cool late autumn day.. If we did that here in Stoke it would be viewed as some clever marketing ploy, or a con. Either that or there would be a wealth of visitors to your shop wanting to liberate you of your tea and whatever else you giving away.

That night I went to bed with a full belly, and a happy heart knowing I was in such a nice place with nice people, the only worry being that it is becoming increasingly rare.

Once awakened I got myself together and headed to breakfast. After a hearty full English (or Welsh, even), further exploration of the town was required. Collecting souvenirs such as Welsh cakes to bring home, some cherry brandy, apricot brandy and a few nik naks for gifts, the day was spent in merriment in exploration of Cardiff's wonderful things to see, inclusive of stopping in a cafe to enjoy a hearty plaice, chips and peas and a pot of tea, and an exporation of yet more shops, stalls and many interesting Welsh things.

/indulging in yet more worldy culture we decided on Italian that night, enjoying a traditional lasagne and Marsala chicken (something i'd not eaten in some years). after several gins and a brandy, sleep was once more reuiqred for tomorrows exploration of the bay, and then the journey home.

The next days exploration of Cardiff bay was a pleasant experience, exploration of its many interesting monuments and shops, with a refreshing cosmopolitan feel. Its somewhere I would heartily consider living in, a mix of the modern and old. Upon gazing on the millennium centre I saw the words in Welsh and then translated to "Within these stones, horizons sing".

Such a resonant piece of short literature I thought. Timeless, I pondered, just as timeless as Cardiff itself. These words echoed in my mind on the return home, whilst passing over the sunlit water between England and Wales, over the great bridge that connects the two.

It helped to remind me most of all that although I am now thirty years old, perhaps it is just a number. If my life ever becomes a fraction of the timelessness that Cardiff presents, I should do well. Here's to the next thirty years - may they be ever youthful.

11:11:11

2011-11-10T23:25:00.000-08:00

Today, 11:11:11 is particularly resonant for many reasons for me. Not only is it the third night of the full moon, not only has a great asteroid now left our orbit, and not only is it remembrance day, but it is the 11th of November 2011.It will not be the 11/11/11 for another one hundred years.

i was greeted by this poem on my news feed today, which i found to be rather simple and touching. Remembrance day is resonant every year, but what with the weeks events expressed in my last post "antlers"
I feel that the synchorinicity of these events is evermore resonant.

Here is the poem that follows:

Why are they selling poppies, Mummy?
Selling poppies in town today.
The poppies, child, are flowers of love.
For the men who marched away.

But why have they chosen a poppy, Mummy?
Why not a beautiful rose?
Because my child, men fought and died
In the fields where the poppies grow.

But why are the poppies so red, Mummy?
Why are the poppies so red?
Red is the colour of blood, my child.
The blood that our soldiers shed.

The heart of the poppy is black, Mummy.
Why does it have to be black?
Black, my child, is the symbol of grief.
For the men who never came back.

But why, Mummy are you crying so?
Your tears are giving you pain.
My tears are my fears for you my child.
For the world is forgetting again.

Upon the final words of the last stanza.i pondered remembrance, and not forgetting. What are we without our memories? Do our memories make us entirely what we are. The passing on of knowledge from generation to generation is probably one of the most prominent acts we can ever engage in. Much is lost, when this does not happen.

If you can do me a favour readers, not mattering what time zone you are in, not mattering what time of day it is, or who you are, you are somebody's son or daughter. Somewhere along the line your ancestors have passed down the knowledge you have been given and learned from. Somewhere along the line between then and now, somebody has given their life whether it be on the battlefield, whether it be on the world stage or whether it be a devoted period of time for the betterment of humanity in the pursuit of peace. I ask this: what do we owe them?

The answer can be as simple and great as you need it to be. But in its simple and purest form, we need to honour the need for remembrance. Without acknowledging the acts of our forefather and mothers, the future holds no value. For their to be a journey and a destination, there must be a path behind us.

Lest we forget.

Remember them.

Antlers...

2011-11-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

Aside from being a symbol of deer, stags and other horned creatures, antlers hold a particular regard around yuletide to symbolise reindeer / other "xmas" symbols. Fair enough, but its not quite time yet for either. Two nights ago as i was relaxing and contemplating sleep i was granted in appearance a vision of the horned deity, resembling "herne" "cerunnonos" "woden" and other names associated. he didnt say alot, just stood smiling, appearing adorned with antlers much like the depiction of foresaid deities. I didn't feel threatened or uneasy, and his presence seemed fatherly, and serious and jovial in the same respect.

Mindful of his presence in vision, I pondered that i hadn't seen anything like this in a number of years - The last memorable depiction of anything of this magnitude was in waking hours at night, whereby in the light of a full moon i saw the clouds move and shift together to form an illuminated perfect view of a bulls head, in immaculate 3 dimensional detail. It lingered there for about 10 seconds then dispersed slowly. That was many years ago, but it remains resonant in my mind.

So I've been asking around as to why the visit - not that i'm complaining. I feel gently reassured.

Whilst at work last night undergoing my general duties, I pondered the events of the week ahead. The 11th of november was fast approaching, with its links to parallels (11:11:11). Looking at it from a computing perspective, i pondered the application of binary to perhaps give a mathematical 9and aspect of duality) clue.

The differences between each section indicated a multiple of four progression. (from 3 to 12, and 12 to 48). Combined with te expression of each section equalling 3 on its own it held resonant to me the development from 3 dimensions to fourth (in a mathematical sense, expressing co-ordinates and a multiplying factor)

Having links to the tesseract I pondered the development from physical dimension to that of another. Its all relative.

Coupled with the other interesting events this week with the approaching large asteroid, then departing from our view and influence on the 11th (on the third night of the full moon) its seemingly from an stellar (and astral) sense, an eventful week. Whats going to happen? Time will tell.

everything changes...

2011-09-28T23:18:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since my last post, but i guess I had gotten caught up in the cogs (as we all do). Nonetheless im here again, working away at the things I do. Recently i went on a short holiday to spain, to relax awhile, away from the humdrum of life back here in England.

They say its more likely to realise a few things while you're out of the box, than in it. Most certainly true, and whilst walking along the shores of valencia one evening I pondered my position in all that I had considered. For once in a while I felt very relaxed, calm and at ease. Its hard to realise you are none of these things until you experience it of course.

Such relaxed states give rise to other thoughts beyond our sphere of influence. As I pondered, I felt somewhat different. As though somehow i were laying upon a cushion of air, being carried along towards a new end, a new destination along the paths of my journey (whatever they may be). At the time I took this message to mean perhaps that i was begin gestured forward in life, to pursue all that i could, and that perhaps I had stood back enough now. The time for moving forward was at hand. perhaps I hadn't realised how prominent this was.

Looking back on the events prior to this its clear to see that the fates had indeed given rise to these thoughts in subtelty, as often they are. I had come into the posession of a branch of a sycamore tree that had been struck by lightning. Indicating a lightning rod, a very live and charged vein of nature - a symbol of drive, of the lifespark, of ignition, of motivation and fertility. I dare say when its ready it will make a fine wand. Also from my homestead i have in preparation a branch from a holly tree - a symbol of evergreen, of everlasting and non diminishing life.

Returning from Spain I was gifted a daytime flight, looking at the clouds and the sky above the world, looking down on mountains rivers and civilisation. Almost a view from "the gods". I had not seen such things since earlier in the year in my ascension of Mt Snowdon. (whish was expressed in "t-minus - wings please)

I am also reminded of the presence of these revelations in various other forms. The song "solisbury hill" by Peter Gabriel holds some relevance (and made me feel somewhat emotional of late, expressing things i had not yet considered or had put to the wayside)..

But it doesnt end there. I listened to a song this morning that reminds me of one of my favouriters from last year - but is still increasingly relevant to the questions we ask in life, and their relevance in the greater scheme of things.

So thats it from me for now. May your futures be bright and your paths cross the places of fortune. Ill be in touch... soon :)

In continual motion...

2011-07-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Things move. things change, some things stay the same etc etc. We've all been aware of things moving along at some point, chasing either the turn of the perpetual wheel, or in sight of a new wheel entirely. In some cases, we all have many wheels to manage, many revolutions to partake in and many facets of the gemstone of life to grind against the wheels.

For me, things are (touch wood) going seemingly well. Having done well on the diet and lifestyle front, I am some five and a half stones lighter than I used to be. Boasting a lean 10st 8 (last weigh in), from a whopping 16 stones and 10 lbs, back in 2008, seemingly in retrospect I've always been under the wheel of change. Nonetheless I'm rather happy about that. Having a mild kidney infection of late has halted my progress somewhat as im holding all kinds of water until it clears. But hey ho - we all have our setbacks.

I am conscious now of the wheel of fortune card - the forces of fate in motion. Heh -we all have visualisations eh?

In other aspects of my life, out of the blue an old mentor appeared - to both confirm and reaffirm my path on the quest for enlightenment among other things. It's only taken some ten years to get answers out of him! Haha. All good things come to those who wait, patience leads to virtue or merit etc. I have a feeling that it wont be the last time I see him either. We shall see.

Today, despite being under a flood of barley water (kidney problem) and recovery, a friend stopped by and we continued to work on his website for his own business venture. A few teething problems to begins with but we're getting there. Its refreshing for me to revise old ground and re-learn new skills in the field. Indeed its been too long away from the digital frontier. A few cups of tea and coffee later our to-do list is exhausted. We now look to more exciting things with the basics out of the way.

Work sent me a nice letter concerning bonuses and shares. Its good to know you're well thought of and valued beyond your monthly pay and the duties you perform. My hopes are to save some more cash to invest in other businesses among my friends. Time will tell of course, but fingers in pies are never a bad thing (provided the filling isn't too hot. ;))

Wheels keep on turning (my playlist ironically picked out "proud mary" as I was typing. Never a bad thing I suppose, to know that fate somehow agrees with me, or at least humours my thoughts. So i suppose as I take a break and reflect, life's kinda sweet. But not too sweet, or I may get addicted. I do wonder how many other wheels will turn in response to these little wheels of mine. Once again, I will discover that time will tell.

March 23rd

2011-03-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

It was the date that last year spawned "making a difference", and in previous years presented times to go into hiding, deadlines, realisations and general breakthroughs n understanding, experience and consciousness. This year, well not much to report. A friend who i had been speaking to got back into touch, and whilst I spend time with him, and I learn new and interesting things, I cant see anything that relates to a breakthrough or prominent step in my development.

One thing I have noticed of late (in the past month or so) is my desire to build, make, create and grow things. Currently im thinking about the garden, growing things etc. From a magick perspective, i suppose this helps a great deal - i get to see life from beginning to end, and as an ingredient and reagent. I often think to myself that i will be better off growing things, whether they be from an observational / interactive level, or from a growing of herbs and vegetables in a personal farming capacity. Or even just for pleasure. I have some sunflowers growing that will look very pretty :).

I'm also building a chest for the end of my bed - i dont know just lately everything seems to fall into place, when making or constructing things. Perhaps i just understand everything alot better. I have also noticed that my physical condition has improved. Aside from the ongoing goal to shed excess pounds (5 stones now since 2008) , I noticed that im also stronger, my endurance has improved. In this respect it was highighted greatly in my climb to the summit of Mt Snowdon last week in "T minus, wings please".

So what now? I suppose ill be looking forward, trudging headlong into the future, wondering whats around the next corner... If anyone has any pointers let me know :) I'm eager to listen.

T Minus...Wings please..

2011-03-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

I suppose im now counting down the march 23rd. Whatever it may bring..... The moon tonight is said to be closest to earth its been since 1993 - It should be a lovely sight providing the skies stay clear. An ominous time for me - a full moon and an impending date which collides with the first days of spring....

Having climbed the mountain yesterday I feel renewed in vigour and outlook somewhat, although I have kept a nice reminder of the hike - I still have a few aches and pains but nothing major. My hips and my neck feel a little stiff but other than this I'm fine. For your perusal I decided to take a few pictures at the summit of Mt. Snowdon - we were blessed with a glorious day which was extremeley warm on the way up (but very cold at the top).

There was a gratifying peace in the looking down over the world, watching people, houses and buildings become smaller, as we ascended up Mt. Snowdon. In the third photo, if you look closely you can see the coast on either side of wales, and the isle of Anglesey.

On the way up, trudging along and upwards steadily I was reminded heartily of the "Hermit" card in the tarot deck - an image of wisdom, perseverance and patience.

I suppose at the moment this is a good motto for me, knowing that something is up ahead, and waiting patiently for it to arrive - for nobody can control the passage of time. Along with this symbology, my friend who I hiked up the mountain with likened me to "Gandalf", the wizard in the Tolkien classic "Lord of the rings". Its because i'm wise apparently (we will leave the old bit out). In true hermit fashion he is depicted lighting the way also in the darkest of places, leading men and others, against the darkness, and finding their own strengths. In retrospect, the climb was a pleasant challenge - but it was not easy. I had the foresight to bring my heart rate monitor, which showed a total of 2100 calories. Thats some exercise!

Did it bring me everything I hoped it would - nice views, picturesque scenery, and pleasant walk, a challenge - yes. There was something also incredibly calming about hearing almost absoloute silence. Although some sounds of distant places carried on the wind was somewhat interesting. From these welsh mountains, looking across at the pretty landscape, I wondered to myself, how many had trodden these steps before, how many leaders of men, Kings,Queens, Emperors, Politicians, Teachers, Mentors, Knights, or even common men could not fail to see the value of all things, looking down at the world. Up here it seemed, money didn't matter, possessions didn't matter. Life up here was different. Literally the world at ones feet.

A bird flew past, calling - presumably to other birds. It had followed us all of the way up - i was comforted to have an aerial companion to watch our journey. It reminded me somewhat of the symbology of the ace of birds (ace of swords in the original tarot deck), which is depicted to carry an arrow. It signifies decisive, determined and direct approaches to life. In this instance, thats what mattered on the mountaintop. Should you be born with wings, you could fly to anywhere from here with only the wind to get in your way. I concluded that was the purpose of the ascent, to realise ones limitations and potentials.From here, decided there can be only the elements in my way from achieving what I wish to. For those who master the elements - the cosmos is theirs for exploring.

At the top of the mountain there was a waypoint showing directions to all of the places the eye (and further could see). But no man could step from here to those places - save only on wings. I do not have those... in which case I must walk. But isn't the journey more important than the destination? From here, I guess, the infinite waypoint, my journey continues. Wings optional.

In continual motion...

2011-03-14T01:25:00.000-07:00

So it has been a week since my last post- not much has changed with me `I guess. I am consciously aware of the fast approaching self fulfilling prophecy date of March 23rd. Aside from its usual resonance with me, it is also the first (or second maybe) day of spring (officially). I have always been a fan of springtime, for a variety of reasons. Aside from the fact its not so cold anymore, there is also alot of exciting things happening in nature. The level of sunlight increases (which in turn makes people alot happier), the nights become shorter, and things once again begin to grow.

Another thing im aware of of late is that the moon is closer to earth than usual - some 30,000 km closer I might add. Aside from the usual influence of the moon being hung upon us, i suppose it is in effect more amplified than normal - its effect on the tides, on our moods, on our psyche etc.

This leads my thoughts to recent events on the further side of the world. The state of affairs in the pacific at the moment in particular. I feel heartily for the people of Japan - and their turmoil and misfortune regarding the earthquakes / tsunami. Their nation has been rocked by wind, water, earth and fire. Perhaps spirit will be gracious to them. I dont know how anyone could cope with that. I dare say they will recover with vigour eventually - the Japanese have always been a resilient people. I have viewed them with admiration and respect - if anything due to the concept of "kaizen" - a methodology for life of self improvement.

The aspect of self improvement has long been inherent in my life - desiring to learn more, to know more and to improve myself in every way that I can. In my previous post "the walk to work" I outline the desire to improve and discover more and more - both physically and mentally and spiritually. My exercise routine is getting more and more difficlt, and somehow i feel that little by little I am getting stronger.

What is happening in the macro sphere of my influence is anyones guess. Within the post macro and micro I outline its perspectives and influence on us all, and how one will mirror the other. I dare say in higher planes of existence, the macro versions of mysefl are striving to improve things also.

I am due to hike up a mountain later this week with a friend, and i am looking forward to being closer to the heavens. There is something very gratifying about being high up and looking down on the world, and seeing its simplicity outside the chaos. Maybe this is a fated preparation for March 23rd. Maybe new truths will reveal themselves to me within that time. Maybe new mysteries will present themselves. As always time will tell.

The walk to work

2011-03-07T23:08:00.000-08:00

Tonights walk to work wasn't the usual charge headlong for three miles. I decided to leave a bit later and take it slowly and enjoy the walk - I normally arrive at work horrifically early anyway.

My thoughts tonight were alot calmer than the usual whirlpool of things, which I suppose is a nice change. Usually my mind is somwhere between definite boundaries - the space between in which is hard to define.At some level there was a part of me taking comfort in the fact i didnt ache as much as the previous few days - a change in exercise routine had shocked my body somewhat, now I was beginning to get used to it. The path of progress I am often told is a painful one (he chuckles to himself).

I perhaps was also taking solace in the fact that I had booked some time off work - in particular the few days around March 23rd (mentioned previously in "making a difference"). It always holds revelation, development or resonance of some kind for me. I realised a few moments ago that it was probably a decade now that the date had outlined itself to be important, and had led me unwittingly on a path towards discoveries i hadnt bakc then percieved the existence of, let alone understood.

But back to matters at hand, tonight the walk to work was a calm and peaceful one - and so it should be. Theres plenty of opportunity along the way to work to enjoy the surroundings. I pass through three city park areas, along a main road and traverse the space bewteen two towns. The first part of which, although inside an urban area, is quite peacful. Just after i leave my house and go along the road, is a large park which has a heavy yield of wildlife. Mostly ducks, geese and swans with the occasional squirrel or two, but theres some tasteful architecture, water features and some lovely foliage.

The second park i go through isnt as lavish, and is home to a good many magpies in the morning. Its not as well lit in or around the other park, but i quite prefer it because on a clear night, as you enter this park, the stars put on a great show. To my left orion, and the bright and briliant star sirius show themselves, and accompany me for the entireity of my journey. Looking up I see the pleiades, cassiopeia and the plough lit above like tiny candles hanging in the sky. For some strange reason, i feel that when I look up and see the stars, I feel phenomenally safe. Sometimes the moon makes an appearance also, but not tonight. It's still new.

Then its on to the third park area, the graveyard. There are those amongst you who probably feel thats its a bit odd i would choose to cut through the graveyard in the dark, but seriously its probably one of the most peaceful places there is. I take great comfort in knowing there are those resting around me in hallowed ground - a history of those who came and went before us, who walked the land as we do, and who rested as we probably will. Two statues of angels mark either side of the path - I always look at them and think to myself they serve as watchers or guardians of the path and the graveyard. Gracious and solemn, thoughful and insightful they stand unmoved.

A light in the sky ahead made me curious as to its origin. Plane? Helicopter? Space shuttle? Extra terrestrial visitors? No such luck it was a search helipcopter. Two search helicopters in fact. I'm guessing the new moon sent someone on the run. nonetheless the excitement was there, the desire to learn something new. I told myself that the day i look around at the world and am uninterested in it, is the day I shouldn't

For the larger part, the walk was entertained by Gustav Mahler and his first symphony "the titan". An interesting piece of music which bought back memories of being a teenager - i first discovered this symphony when i was about fourteen, along with beethovens famous "pastorale" symphony number six. I usually let me mp3 player pick randomly what i am to listen to - let the forces of fate deicde my mindset. I'm glad that tonight I did.

I say tonight, its actually morning, and i have found a spare few minutes at work to write this down. Which means of course it is shrove tuesday, or "pancake day" as it is affectionately known. A time of enjoyment I have always found - im fond of pancakes and all of their forms, shapes and sizes. I may cook a savoury pancake dish for the folks at home tonight.

Macro & Micro

2011-03-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

Big and small. Inner and outer. Inside the box, outside the box.... They all specify one thing - being a part of something else. But if the universe and the cosmos are indeed infinite, how do we know our place in all of it? Is there a map of reality, the universe or the cosmos?

Philosophers and theoligists have over the years banded around ideas and concepts about how the reality, space and world(s) around us are formed :Did they get any further forward with reaching a conclusion? I don't doubt that their musings raised more questions, whether or not their new questions got answered or not is anyones guess. But the nature of questions also intruiges me - when i think of questions aside from the usual "what, where, how, who etc", there is one question which connects and strings all of the other questions together. "why"

When i think about "why", its the question that raises so much more than the others. It connects question after question, meets up with other questions, and indeed helps to answer others. I do however wonder about the original question, or the root concept. It is a firm founded belief that if you follow the path of "why" you will originally find the root of all that is.

But how deep does the root go? And what does it burrow into, what feeds it and sustains it? You see my point here, it never stops.

It is my theory(ish) that the original question and its root connect all other things together. From the small to the big, from the macro to the micro. It all seems, in my mindset to be one big machine, device or other such arrangement or structure, emerging into larger and larger spheres of reality / existence. But wheres does it stop?

If we look at the theory of how the universe is constructed, we often hear say that it expands, and the contracts and shrinks to its original size. Would this happen also to our perspective of reality, the macro becoming the micro after it expanded? Using the mobius strip (the infinity symbol) as a model it would appear to follow the cycle of expanding then contracting continuously. Does this count for our path of experience also?

A good friend posted something recently about enforcing world peace which got me thinking initially about macro and micro and its influence on connection with alot of things. it goes something like this :

So how do we bring global peace to our world?

I think the real question is this: are you ready to hear an answer that is so achievable its resting at your fingertips this very moment. It’s so simple and so profound.

The peace we seek will occur naturally the instant we genuinely stop viewing ourselves as separate. It is the natural byproduct of this awareness.
We should not be separate, we should become a global body and from this global body we will naturally interact just as our physical bodies do.

To talk in metaphors, as an example, if our stomach is disturbed and we get heartburn we don’t try to annihilate the stomach, we don’t retaliate and we don’t threaten if it somehow doesn’t stop on its own, we carefully consider what may remedy or at least soothe its trouble because we know it isn’t our enemy. It isn’t an attack the stomach has launched, it is a symptom of its distress and actually a call for assistance and because we see our stomach as an important part of us we send that comfort straight away because we see the whole benefits and how once again the body becomes harmonious.

It makes sense and it works.

This is how we must also treat our global body. Our ability to see in this way comes first from realising this truth and allow this instinctive urge to heal that comes from this view of concord

I thought it worthy of a mention :). Ultimately big things are made of small things, and small things are made of even more smaller things. Everything is linked to everything else, in some way or another. . . .

Night.

2011-02-28T00:01:00.000-08:00

Night time. Its the time of day that most of the waking world likes to rest in. The sun goes under the horizon and the moon shows itself in the sky with the stars, Limited light allows the eyes to relax and the conscious mind to "sleep". But I have been working nights for some five months now, and I have noticed that the nighttime world is in fact not as dark and scary as the daytimers would have us believe.

Sure, its dark. Sure, we cant see as well, and sure alot of different things happen int he world at night than they do in the day. But thats all it is, - difference.

My discoveries how found the world at night to show the polarities of our existence more prevalently, everything is more intense in the night. The light itself, can be blinding, The emotions run deeper and higher on the wave of consciousness. In my pursuit of truth as a lifelong commitment, I have found recently the world at night to be definitely more of one thing - honest.

Away from the pretences and shows of the world bathed in sunlight, the stars above us show a more romantic, more passionate, and more instinctive world. A world that offers no lies or pretences. A friend said it best with..

"The night always brings honesty. the day has ended and people don't need to put on pretences to survive. they look to relax and be their true selves. Its easier to be yourself when the light does not reveal it so people are braver. For all the stereotypes about light and dark, the dark seems to hold more truth and unveling than the light."

I agree with all of that statement. In my previous years i had shunned the dark for fear of risk, fear of influence of the dark, and fear of I suppose the unknown. But if we look at the classic poles of reality as a union of opposites , then i would see that dark is as much of value as the light is. That the fabric of the universe is indeed much in a delicate state of balance I have come to the conclusion that the world of night could hold many adventures and discoveries, many truths as of yet un-illuminated. After all, thats all that darkness is - an absence of light.

I am aware that physically light (white) encompasses all frequencies colours and hues, but there are frequencies we cant see, both above and below our visible spectrum. Are these to be included in darkness too?

It is said that the brightest of stars have the darkest of journeys, and that without shadow there can be no light. In my pursuit of truth as an ultimacy, I must know darkness as equally as the light. So, as time progresses, you will be updated with my discoveries into night, and its influence upon us. there are two sides to every story after all...

In the meantime, i'll quote one of my favourite poems about the night time.


TWELVE o’clock.
Along the reaches of the street
Held in a lunar synthesis,
Whispering lunar incantations
Dissolve the floors of memory	5
And all its clear relations
Its divisions and precisions,
Every street lamp that I pass
Beats like a fatalistic drum,
And through the spaces of the dark	10
Midnight shakes the memory
As a madman shakes a dead geranium.

Half-past one,
The street-lamp sputtered,
The street-lamp muttered,	15
The street-lamp said, “Regard that woman
Who hesitates toward you in the light of the door
Which opens on her like a grin.
You see the border of her dress
Is torn and stained with sand,	20
And you see the corner of her eye
Twists like a crooked pin.”

The memory throws up high and dry
A crowd of twisted things;
A twisted branch upon the beach	25
Eaten smooth, and polished
As if the world gave up
The secret of its skeleton,
Stiff and white.
A broken spring in a factory yard,	30
Rust that clings to the form that the strength has left
Hard and curled and ready to snap.

Half-past two,
The street-lamp said,
“Remark the cat which flattens itself in the gutter,	35
Slips out its tongue
And devours a morsel of rancid butter.”
So the hand of the child, automatic,
Slipped out and pocketed a toy that was running along the quay.
I could see nothing behind that child’s eye.	40
I have seen eyes in the street
Trying to peer through lighted shutters,
And a crab one afternoon in a pool,
An old crab with barnacles on his back,
Gripped the end of a stick which I held him.	45

Half-past three,
The lamp sputtered,
The lamp muttered in the dark.
The lamp hummed:
“Regard the moon,	50
La lune ne garde aucune rancune,
She winks a feeble eye,
She smiles into corners.
She smooths the hair of the grass.
The moon has lost her memory.	55
A washed-out smallpox cracks her face,
Her hand twists a paper rose,
That smells of dust and eau de Cologne,
She is alone
With all the old nocturnal smells	60
That cross and cross across her brain.”
The reminiscence comes
Of sunless dry geraniums
And dust in crevices,
Smells of chestnuts in the streets,	65
And female smells in shuttered rooms,
And cigarettes in corridors
And cocktail smells in bars.

The lamp said,
“Four o’clock,	70
Here is the number on the door.
Memory!
You have the key,
The little lamp spreads a ring on the stair.
Mount.	75
The bed is open; the tooth-brush hangs on the wall,
Put your shoes at the door, sleep, prepare for life.”

The last twist of the knife

Making a difference.

2010-03-24T04:34:00.001-07:00

So once again, as the years pass by, we find yesterday was March 23rd, which has always held an important resonance for me. Normally something profound or of magnitude occurs, or the development of an up and rising concept takes root.

Yesterday, i suppose in the realm of things indeed was no different. But instead of being tangible and obvious, the concept which emerged was perhaps a little more theoretic.

I was contemplating the concept "making a difference" - it seems to be that people use this as a means or a goal to fulfil their lives - ideally feeling that they made a difference to one thing or another, no matter how large or small the project or concept. And yet as i thought about the wording, i took the literal meaning in a mathematical sense, that difference implies taking something away - subtraction, depletion, and ultimately the note of what is missing. In physics we identify potential difference the subtraction of voltage in electronics. In supposition i concluded making a difference would mean creating or highlighting a gap - a void between things in its absence.

Developing from this i began thinking about our function here in the physical plane, and progress, as it had been some ten years or so ago since i began this quest of self realisation. How had i progressed in these ten years? true, i had made some very stupid mistakes in my development, which has allowed for some very important lessons - which i have learned from greatly. Without the proviso of these lessons, i would not be in this position i am in now., i would nto have met the people i have met, and may be on a path less beneficial. I began thinking about energy, and balance in life. Acquisition of wisdom is indeed paid for by hard work and sacrifice, often without conscious realisation until the moment of epiphany. The balance of life is in exchange, time is sacrificed in the way of other things, energy is sacrificed in the way of progress. In this respect i thought that making a difference in life, would indeed imply removal of self, subtraction from the mundane, subtraction from all ties in ones life that impede progress.

I realised that at this point i was thinking like a buddhist - we experience in this sphere of existance in order to realise we end our lives here with what we began with. Everything else inbetween is merely material save the lessons learned whilst we are here. Indeed i thought, we are here to learn, to progress and evolve.

Upon this concept of evolution i thought that in this respect energy is no different. It cannot be created or destroyed, it merely changes and transmutes from form to form, ever evolving and changing. It struck me that evolution is everywhere, from ground to sky, as is the presence of energy. Everything within this physical plane only mirrors it, including our fragmented experience here, in this short life. Just as we are all here to experience what we need to in order to learn, i pondered much like how energy resonates in its various forms, so do we mirror this in our interactions and how our paths cross with each other in our lives. In this respect i decided that our function as an evolutionary species (much like energy) is indeed conductive of that energy - to pass on the evolutionary frequencies and help their transmutation from form to form - here we are expressed as one form of this, interacting with the many others. In this respect we indeed harmonise (without our knowledge of it) with the other forms and energies around us, in order for evolution to continue and be conducted elsewhere.

This led me to think of the word conduction. We use it in science to measure how freely energy moves through matter. "Conducti - On". On - probably one of the most used words in our language, and probably one of the oldest it expresses life. We switch machines and other things on to bring life to them. On is expressed in ancient languages such as hebrew and egyptian with words like "am-on" "at-on" - all variation of a word to describe god, or a divine and infinite life force, taken to give rise to the numerical value of one, the complete. It then occurred to me rather obviously that the sum of energies, as parts and fractions of the one divine force, would indeed equal one. One whole, resonating expression of energy. This is why making a difference is so important upon reflection. The absence of one expression of energy would not allow the whole to resonate as it should. Removal from ourselves and selfish needs, indeed helps us to contribute, to the whole energetic spiral, and its evolutionary process.

Glass Utopia

2008-09-01T08:19:00.000-07:00

It began as a surprise, for me
And for you it was a moment of clarity.
Strange it seemed to me,
That your thoughts were this way.

You saw my wisdom, and a depth of thought
And from this the shadow saw the challenge,
And a shadow of a threat emerged in its own mind
For he was blinded by the light.

Upon instinct he fled, and returned, out of curiosity
As a prisoner who knew only captivity, would fear to leave its cage
Isolated and curious the dilemma was clear,
Yet it watched from a distance, knowing nothing but fear.
It was all he had experienced, all he had seen
The constant analysis and review of events,
Which in your own mind were clear
But a suspicion was not seen, a wariness not yet experienced.
The shadow, had yet things to say.
Questions were asked, answers given.
In the supreme court of this glass Utopia,
The shadow deemed this unacceptable.
An unknown force, and unknown set of events, of questions
Of inquisitions.
of secret spies and sabotage,
Came to look into the looking glass.
It was his window, for looking out.
His window into the world beneath the perfect world.
And in the hub of reason, the great emperor became full of wariness
Full of wrath, full of suspicion.
The great book of rules lay before him, secret and forgotten
Known only to the shadow, since it had come through the window.
Written in treaty, a great codex of the rules to the fabric of reality

Of ways and conduct.
The commandments from the creator and creation, working in a harmony.

The shadow knew of other places, other kingdoms
The creator worked with them all of the time.
Business was dealt there, and they both knew of their dependencies.
In other kingdoms, things were just as dark as here.
Things fell from the sky in flames, all was viewed with mistrust.
All was suspicious. It was easy to see it that way.
Easy to classify, easy to categorise, to analyse.
The conclusion was always the same.
"Close the windows! Raise the curtain of iron"
"Enemies are many, for even friends must be eyed with suspicion"

Then there shone a light in the heavens.
Through the great window it fell, and invaded.
Flooding the great hub of reason with a painful light.
Where could he hide?
Burning and itching it became
Blinding and uncomfortable.
The light fell upon the situation
Then the truth blinded him.
He did not want it, did not care for it
He was truth, he was security, and he was in control.
It was his job to survey it all, his job to realise conclusions.
The other could not handle it,
Could not cope with it.
He made things better,
changed the reality for the better.
How dare the cracks show in his world!
How dare this burning light melt away the wax amongst the scenery!
Did it not know who made this?
Did it not see the retribution that would be impaired?
He could end it now, if he wished
End it, for them both. Punishment for the betrayal
For bringing about doubt to this glass Utopia
Damn the light, and damn him for showing it to him.
He became now less of an influence, less of an existance.
His power, his majesty and his control
Was now fading.
Soon he would not be needed.
Soon he would be redundant.
Worst of all, he could be forgotten.
Homeless.
Fallen from the kingdom that his creator had shown him,
Into nothingness.

He must act! He must do something!
Words of warning were uttered.
Words were stopped, and commnications jammed
For but a moment.
The light burned everything it touched.
And his very words burst into flames,
Then unto dust as they were spoken.
"What sorcery is this?" he cried.
"What magic has befallen me?"

"Know thine enemy", he pondered, and looked towards the window.
And in the great shaft of light, it was seen.
Terrible and beautiful, and blinding to look upon.
The sun had shone upon the glass Utopia,
And every corner of it seen. Every facet of the glass gem shone.
All was revealed.

He fell to his knees and saw the kingdom that was once darkness,
About him as a great mirror.
And in it ,as he looked, he saw a face he did not expect.
A great paradox before him.
The face of the creator shone with terror and wonder.
The realisation came swiftly.
He was no longer the emperor of his glass utopia,
But a child in the light of the sun
A child in the light of truth.
A child who innocence had forgotten,
and had strayed from the light.
What was he to be now?
He had almost forgotten his empire, in which only he existed.
The world awaited.
The universe beckoned.
The glass Utopia, forgotten.
A mere reflection of his true self.
Freedom, was upon him.
Freedom, was upon you.